Monday, February 28, 2011

"G" Is For Goliath Birdeating Spider


Makes other birdeating spiders edgy.


Friday, February 25, 2011

In An Elevator, On A Rainy Day


Me:
Sucks.

Stranger: Yeah.

Me: It'll clean everything off though. It's been so gross and dirty outside with all the dirty snow and the dirt and such.

Stranger: Yeah, really.

Me (getting off at my floor, thinking to myself): Man, I'm a tool.

Stranger (as I exit, thinking to himself): What a brave fellow to speak with such honesty and conviction.

Monday, February 21, 2011

How To Vanquish Evil



Twice now I have been tasked with defeating the evil villain from Heroes in my dreams. Last night, I wielded an invisible bow and arrow as one might wield an air guitar during a particularly demanding solo, with great earnestness and intensity... in deep lost-in-the-moment-ness. But looking very, very silly as I wielded.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Interesting Lives of Imaginary People

Where do they go? The photographs...

After movies wrap and TV shows air... when the actors and actresses have moved on to the next script and left their characters to suffer or celebrate their fates... once reusable props have been returned to storage closets and sets have been emptied of all that fiction...

Those family photographs, photographs of vacations, of wives and husbands, of significant events in the lives of people with important stories to tell... framed on mantels, office desks and living room walls. Sitting there, hanging there for us to believe in... sometimes barely noticeable in the shot, other times held up for our careful consideration at key points in a snaking plot... Little rectangles that breathe life into a world of moments that do not exist...

They live on! They are somewhere!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Flying Lettuce, Exploding Firecrackers



Chinatown was full of lion dances and firecracker smoke and lettuce leaves littered in alleyways where food offerings had been ceremoniously gobbled up then spit back into the crowds as they howled with glee, everyone jockeying for a better view.

And all those cameras. It bummed you out.

I couldn't have cared less. Of all the photographs taken that day, I only have eyes for yours.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Donut, I Eat You

The jelly in you is now the jelly in me.